What is counselling & therapy?
One of my most well-loved phrases is, “Never underestimate the power of feeling heard”. The aim of good therapy is not simply be heard by another person, but to begin to hear ourselves too.
The words ‘counselling’, ‘therapy’, & ‘psychotherapy’ are generally used interchangeably in the UK to describe a variety of mental health support practices. Therapy typically involves talking, and can sometimes involve other creative aspects such as writing, art, movement, or play which can help us to express things which words can’t always show.
The purposes of therapy are as unique as the people accessing it. It can be a place to gain peace & calm in a life which doesn’t have much space for these needs to be met. It can be an hour to check in with our feelings in a week that demands we ‘put our head down and get on with it’. It can be the place where we’re honest with ourselves about the uncomfortable, scary, or difficult thoughts we’ve been avoiding. It can be a place to celebrate those wins that may not be seen or appreciated in our world.
Whatever reason you may be seeking therapy is valid & important; though therapy can be a lifeline for those facing life’s most heart-wrenching challenges, that does not mean we need to be in a crisis to benefit from a space to talk. Every one of us has our own difficulties & dilemmas which can play on our minds and impact our wellbeing, such as relationship or family concerns, loneliness, stresses of life or work, the impact of our physical or other health needs, or historic complex experiences which we would like to address, to name but a few. Many people feel the stigma of ‘not making a fuss’ or it ‘not being that bad’ – let me reassure you that therapy is for everyone, because we all deserve to feel heard.
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change"
- Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy
What is Person-Centred Therapy?
The Person-Centred Approach (PCA) was developed by Carl Rogers, an American psychologist & psychotherapist, known as one of the founding fathers of Humanistic Psychology.
When first developed in the 1950s, the PCA was an innovative new way of viewing mental health; those in need of support were no longer referred to as ‘patients’, and the people supporting them were no longer the ‘expert’. Instead, the PCA believes that every person is the expert in their own life, and no matter what we are all striving towards our own flourishing (this is what we call the actualising tendency).
The PCA believes that the best conditions for us to flourish in are:
· Congruence (the therapist is genuine and honest with their client & themselves)
· Empathy (the therapist understands the client’s feelings & experiences)
· Unconditional Positive Regards (the therapist accepts the client without judgement or opinion)
The purpose of these conditions is to support the client to develop empowerment & agency in their own lives, to build the confidence that they themselves have made the changes they wanted, rather than feeling they need to rely on an ‘expert’ to ‘fix’ them.
These conditions are so important & influential that they are the base for all other therapies. The biggest difference between the PCA and other therapies is that PCA therapists like myself are non-directive. This means that the direction, pace, & content of the session is the client’s choice; there are no invasive questions, inserted opinions, or homework from the therapist. There are no timelines, no expectations, no ‘shoulds’. The therapist is not the leader forging ahead with their own agenda; they are a companion on the journey, sharing a flask of tea.